(( Meant to be a sort of holo-journal that Zerrif keeps, chronicling various events that I go to, as well as his own development and stuff! Not in any sort of chronological order whatsoever. ))
Day two in this medical facility.
I mean, I have to hand it to them. It's extremely advanced. And they actually listened when I said I didn't want no Mordesh doc looking at me. I've got this really nice Human tending to me. She didn't seem too surprised about my state. It's not hard to tell white lies about it after all-- can't take primal life into me. Weave isn't reaching out to me. Have to be healed through pure science. I mean, it's not wholly a lie. The medicine's real high-tech though. Works way better than the field stuff you get working for the Exiles.
The Chua and the Draken are actually proving to be nice to talk to. First nice Chua I've met, really. I still think 14's too young but hey. Different people. The Draken's too easy to tease. But he's smart. We talked for a length about... me. I've got a lot to think about now. If anything, it just sets into stone the theories I already had.
I know I shouldn't be trying to harness primal life. I know it's only going to make me... deteriorate. I know the what, but I don't know the why. It was kind of nice to bounce ideas back and forth. I still don't feel like I'm any closer, but now at least I don't feel so crazy.
"To give, you must already have." He said. Or something like that. In order to channel primal life, one must already be full of that energy. And me, someone caught in the middle, someone who the Weave refuses to touch-- maybe me calling on primal life is almost like blasphemy? Maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe the energy itself is refusing me. Maybe that's why it hurts. The Draken might have a point. Maybe the Weave really is rejecting me, and instead I'm channeling what little I have left in me.
Which means that, if this theory holds, the more I do it, the more dangerous it's only going to become.
A sound theory. Not sure if I'm willing to test it. I hate being the test subject.
I also hate having to lie. Gonna have to tell Vodras that I was just out on some random merc job. Which, really isn't a lie, but I can't tell him that it was with some faction neutral group. He'd get mad. Worried moreso, but mad. And then he'd probably want to fight the Draken. Or something.
The arms are looking better. Got all the wounds stitched up and whatever they're putting in me is making me heal. Kind of nice, considering the only alternative is going to some Mordesh chop-shop. Probably.
I'm gonna head out once the stitches are dissolved and the pain goes away. I can heal the rest up myself.
Didn't dream last night. That was probably a good thing. I don't know how long I slept though. Couldn't have been long. Stayed up listening to the hum of the machines and toying with the thoughts in my head.
Oh-- she's back for checkup. End transmission.
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